Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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