Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
