I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
