tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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