Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
