i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
