I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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