I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
