I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He passed out mid-signature
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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