Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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