69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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