C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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