Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You need Xanax blowdarts
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
