whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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