i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
