White coat. Heels.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
