If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
