we made out on top of his cat.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
