I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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