hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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