I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
