I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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