I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
