1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
