turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
