just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
