I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
