do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
