She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
