Will you blow on my dice?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
