I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
