I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
