At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
