We're facebook friends in real life
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
