he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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