He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
