While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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