Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
