Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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