that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is classic penis vs brain.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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