Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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