i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
