Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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