WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
