I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
