She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
