If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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