Girls should come with a carfax report
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize