i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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