Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
