those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
