Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
