i permit you to call me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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