Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
