I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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