I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
