You work out of a Hotel?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
