You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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