Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
