I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
