plz talk dirty to me
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize