There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
you made out with another girl for some wings
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
