I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
